“THE LOOP”. Every backpacker is doing the loop.
It's not just the backpackers. Everyone's coming to Ha Giang, from local tourists or regional travellers on a 4 day jaunt, influidiots, Instagrammers and more.
With its book-spine uildings and pho shops and madcap traffic, it's not unlike other Vietnamese cities.
High in the mountains, it's cooler, cold even, but set among the northern hills, it's quite an attractive place.
The shops and markets bulge with the weird and wonderful, like herbal remedies.
And like other parts of Vietnam, you're not far from good tucker. But for most visitors, Ha Giang is not the destination; it's the staging post.
It's all about "the loop". Every south-east Asian country seems to have its own loop nowadays.
The route(s) pass through ethnically diverse mountains, taking in several small towns with big, colourful weekly markets.
It also takes in some bloody spectacular scenery, passing some of the highest and most northerly parts of the country.
A whole industry- and official corruption- has sprung up around it: so-called "easyriders." Tourists join a motorycle tour, and cover the 400kms on the back of a bike. Over a thousand head off a day.
It's classic overtourism, and its dangerous. Narrow, winding and often wet, the roads aren't made for this kind of traffic. Groups of 20-30 bikes merge with others to create packs of 60 or more bikes.
While most are genuinely there for the markets and mountains, put dozens of young holiday makers together at night, and they will drink lots of cheap vodka and beer.
Our first stop was little Yen Minh, largely because we could get a room, where fortunately none of the tours seemed to have overnighted in.
We didn't know it when we checked in, but the town's weekly market was on the next day.
But before we'd even got there, I'd managed to drop the bike, and get shaken down-official shake down- for VND3,000,000- about US$200!
Apparently there are two International Drivers' Permit conventions, and I apparently had the wrong one. 30 bloody years of riding in Asia and a motorcycle license count for nothing.
The action was centred around the covered section.
But as is always the case, the footpaths aroudn surrendered to the overflow.
As well as plenty of locally grown produce, there was a lively livestock section in one corner. Pigs, chickens and ducks mostly.
I might have seen another couple of foreigners there. Market workers generally seemed friendly and open to being photographed.
These two tough old dears were part of a larger group of (maybe?) Hmong ladies enjoying a soup and a gossip.
Given that we'd only stopped to break the journey, this small town market was a great bonus.
2 hours/60kms up the road, Dong Van has the area's biggest weekly market, a magnet for the tours, and the reason why we couldn't get a room there.
Instagrammers flock to the flower fields, and any view point will have a cafe packed with 40 to 100 bikes.
It is a truly spectacular section of road, but be warned, it's cold- 3-4 layers of clothes and gloves weather.
The Dong Van weekly market is a gem. Yes, there's lots of other tourists, but it is big and bust enough that you usually won't notice them.
About half the market is covered, with sections for livestock, clothes (traditional and modern), produce, noodle soups galore, fresh and dried meat, and more.
The region's ethnic groups are all there in their finest, although I couldn't identify a Dao from a Tai from another.
Others are out plying their trade, cutting hair in aisles.
I once lived next to a pig market, and still enjoy watching porkers being traded. Poor fellas are stuffed in cages and bags and baskets and strapped to the back of bikes- but it does make good TV.
Regional Asian markets can be confronting. Some things just shouldn't be traded- like tiger paw.
Even though we'd arrived late in the morning, there was still plenty to sink our teeth into.
We'd missed a couple of small detours on the way, a fort, the northern tip of Vietnam. It would have meant too much extra driving, and for me, time was better spent at the market.
Dong Van market is rightly rated as one of the best in the country.
The next day and half took us through some of the best scenery on the journey.
Tu Son Canyon may be the visual highlight. We found a quiet lunch across the bridge from where several hundred bikes disgorged riders into a shops, restaurants and boat tours.
The weather turned truly foul, though, varying between drizzle and downpours, not conducive to photo-stops. I was glad we were not in a tour, as riding these roads in the wet is bad enough, but with dozens of strangers around, someone else controlling the pace would have been hell.
Last stop, Meo Vac, which had a small but odd market surrounded by cafes and restaurants. Not a bad place.
If there was a reason we chose to stay here over somewhere else, I don't remember. The town was pleasant, the food and room good.
I'd cracked my phone when I dropped the bike. For 20 bucks or so, this lad cut it open with a razor blade, changed the screen and superglued it back together. Probably not following manufacturer's guidelines.
I would not recommend a novice rider self-drive this route. The swarms of bikes is quite intimidating and the roads are challenging. The markets, the views and the funny old ducks you meet are reason enough for the area's (over)popularity.